Gravitation 911
by KareNeko
Summary: Bad boys, bad boys  what ya gonna do when they come for you? Never, ever point your weapon at Kumagoro. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or John Wayne or Disneyland or CNN or LAPD (but dontcha just love a man in uniform?).

o0o0o000oo

K and Sakano snuggled smugly, happy to have stolen some time to be alone in midst of such a busy household. They were on the luxurious couch in front of the HD big-screen TV, but they spared it little attention as they stole a little moment of intimacy before anyone else returned.

It was a beautiful house, Ryuichi had leased it for a year in order to have a home base in Southern California while his band's reunion was gaining a notorious fan base in America. Bad Luck had been playing some concert dates, to a rapidly growing and rabid throng of fans as well. Shuichi and Ryuichi were exotic gods to the American fans, and they were hot on the cover of everything from Rolling Stone to Good Housekeeping. Ryu had insisted that the Bad Luck boys stay with him while they performed on the West Coast, and that included the very necessary Mr. K and Sakano.

Hiro and Suguru had gone to the beach for a campout, and Shuichi had excitedly dragged a squalling Ryu with him to go to John Wayne Airport to pick up Yuki. Shuichi was explosive with excitement that _his_ Yuki was flying all the way here just to see him! Sitting under the great bronze statute of The Duke in their appointed meeting place, Shuichi got the call that started the dominoes falling.

o0o0o0o0o

Sakano was starting to succumb to K's persistent advances, despite the fact that he didn't really believe it would be many minutes, much less hours, before anyone returned. His nervous eye noticed the special bulletin on the TV. The live picture was of a line of police cars snaking through the streets at a ridiculously slow pace - what they call a "low-speed chase" - and the caption at the bottom of the screen caused him to rear up suddenly and brain his amorous partner with the back of his head.

"Yow!" yelled K, one hand grabbing his face, and the other the butt of his .44 magnum in planned retaliation.

"_SHUICHI!"_ screeched Sakano, eyeballs bugging out. Their jaws dropped as they watched the digitized closed-up of the driver of the pursued car, arms waving out the window in animated conversation as the car wandered wildly though the streets. Dozens of black and white police cars were trailing right behind with lights spinning and sirens shrieking like a swarm of angry bees.

"Oh, crap," said K, dropping his weapon.

o0o0o0o0o

The cell rang, and it was Yuki.

Telling Shu that yes, he'd gotten all 7 voice mail and 32 text messages letting him know how excited he was, and where he was waiting.

Telling his brat AGAIN that he still had an ear infection, and still couldn't fly.

Repeating that the ticket for today's flight had therefore been canceled the day before yesterday.

Reiterating that he had told Shuichi the very day he canceled it, and that he had reminded him repeatedly since then, and therefore the plane he was at the airport waiting for would not be "_VERY DAMNED LIKELY TO HAVE ME ON IT_! BAKA!"

You would have thought that the plane had crashed. Shuichi began wailing loudly, and airports, being rather likely to have a security person or two handy, are not convenient places for such activity.

The more the security officers demanded that he submit to them and stop wailing, the more he got upset and the less he understood (they weren't speaking Japanese, after all). The more he got upset and the less he understood, the more he wailed.

Ryuichi did the only thing he could think to do. In a selfless act of sacrifice, he stuffed Kumagoro's head into Shuichi's mouth to muffle his wails.

John Wayne gazed in warm bronze timelessness out the window, pretending not to hear. But airports are also very public places, full of people who were not so discreet. And the passersby, alerted by the commotion, saw, and knew it was too good to be true - their very newest idols were before them. A mob of fans began to form faster than a speeding text message.

Shuichi, choking on Kumagoro, panicked, grabbed Ryu and they bolted past security. They managed, with the confusion of the growing crowd, to elude security and make it to the car.

If only Shuichi was a better driver. If only he hadn't forgotten about the little gate that he crashed through instead of paying for the parking. If only he had pulled over instead just-missing the flailing parking attendant. Well, none of that mattered now.

Airport security had started the chase, and chase they did. In the little pickup truck with "Security" on the side and a yellow spinning light on top, the parking enforcement officer sped in pursuit, calling in for reinforcements by radio. Shuichi got on an on-ramp, then got off at the next one, clueless as to where he was going. He drove past Disneyland and circled it three times, gathering more and more cops on each round. He drove over curbs and banged into reflector paddles. As bad a driver as he normally was, this upset he was unbelievable.

"RYUUUUU!" Shuichu screamed. "They're gonna shoot us!!"

Well, it _IS_ L.A., Ryu started to agree. Nah. "No, Kumagoro won't allow it! Aiiii!"

A little less bouncy, "Maybe we should pull over, feh."

"NOOOOO. They'll shoot us!!" wailed Shuichi, all over the road.

"Ahh, stop it!" Ryo covered his ears. "Shuichi, they won't shoot us, stop!"

"Yes they will!" The car swung wildly as Shuichi reached under his seat, pulling out a very large black handgun and holding it up high. "But we'll be okay - K gave me "heat" so we'd be safe."

"Yaaaah, put that down!" Ryu screamed "THEY'RE GONNA SHOOT US!"

Shuichi scratched his ear with the gun muzzle. "You're too loud - That hurt my ear," he pouted.

o0o0o0o0o

K and Sakano clung to one another in disbelief. Their Shuichi was driving while holding a gun to his head!

The media was rabid. There were helicopters jockeying dangerously close to one another and too low to the ground. And the police were following in droves. Well aware of their famous prey, they were being overly cautious, and had thus far refrained from splattering the amethyst-eyed singer's brains all over the interior of the tasteful rented sedan. After all, nobody at the department wants bad press.

Of course, the press was using their usual respectful restraint.

"_SUICIDAL SHUICHI SHINDOU, LEAD SINGER OF MEGAGROUP "BAD LUCK" CONTINUES ON DEATH DRIVE THROUGH LOS ANGELES. FANS FLOOD THE STREETS AHEAD OF ANTICIPATED ROUTES TO BEG THEIR IDOL TO LIVE! POLICE WARN OF DANGERS ASK RESIDENTS TO AVOID THE PURSUIT. MAYOR IMPLORES CHIEF OF POLICE TO USE ALL POSSIBLE RESOURCES TO BRING THIS TRAGIC SCENE TO A SAFE RESOLUTION!" _the words rolled in an excited loop across the screen. Which of course prompted whatever fans within 50 miles who weren't already on the street to join the crowds.

"I don't feel very shiny right now," Ryu sniffed and he hugged Kumagoro. "Shu, put the gun down. If you point it a Kumagoro one more time I will never speak to you again!"

Shuichi's cell phone rang with a "Spicy Marmalade" ringtone. He dove for the phone, Ryu grabbing the wheel.

"Yuki!" screamed Shuichi. "oh. Touma." suddenly VERY quiet. Listened for a moment. He handed the phone to Ryuichi and put both hands on the wheel. Kumagoro thought he saw a crackle of flame come out of the earpiece.

Ryu listened, not saying a word, then closed the phone. They drove very slowly with the weight of this on their minds. About 15 miles per hour.

"Touma-san is not happy, Shuichi," said Ryu with a gasp.

"I know"

"He said some very bad things to me"

"Me, too," Shu gulped.

"The bad things he said to me were about you."

"The bad things he said to me were about me."

"I wanna go home."

"We're lost!"

"Oh, here Shu - use the GPS!"

"YAY! We're saved!"

o0o0o0o0o

Sakano's ear was bleeding from the chewing it received over the phone from Touma. K was comforting him, becoming stoical.

"It'll be all right, Sakano-kun," he soothed. "Soon, Shuichi will run out of gas, and then we'll go extract him from the police. It will be fine." The sirens on the TV seemed so much louder in their quiet moment.

"Do you have the remote?" puzzled K. "Why is the sound…?"

With a sinking feeling he realized that it wasn't the TV. The sirens were getting louder outsider. The house began to vibrate with the thrum of helicopters over head. The boys were home.

They looked at each other, and prepared to head out into the nightmare.

o0o0o0o0o

Shuichi leapt out of the car as they parked in the driveway, arms waving, then diving back into the car, because he'd forgotten to take out the gun. When he re-emerged with it in the air, Ryuichi had also emerged from the car. He looked across at Shuichi holding the weapon aloft, and promptly thunked his forehead onto the roof of the car on the passenger side - repeatedly.

The sound of a hundred guns being cocked in unison is a melody like no other.

Shuichi explaining EVERYTHING, loudly, repeatedly, so he should have been OK - and maybe he would have been, if the LAPD had Japanese as their native language. Too bad he didn't know any Espanol. He waved the gun in the air for emphasis, to prove that it wasn't his, he was just holding it, and who should he give it to?

He was blinded by headlights and camera lights and drowned out by chopper blades. He never saw Ryu coming, clocking him with fistful of stuffed rabbit.

"You pointed it at Kumagoro!" he shrieked. The blow caused Shuichi to go flying off of his feet, dropping the gun and rolling forward obligingly into about 30 pairs of handcuffs. Handcuffs which were then applied in the politically correct manner reserved for close-ups on national television.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_NITTLE GRASPER SINGER MAKES HEROIC SAVE, RISKING LIFE AND LIMB TO DISARM DESPONDENT SUICIDAL ROCK SUPERSTAR SHINDOU_

"Hold up," K hissed, watching the TV. Sakano froze, hand almost to the door knob. They moved back to stand, staring at the screen. Watched as Shuichi was smiling while he was loaded into an ambulance (pleased at having not been shot), with friend Ryu riding along. K thought he could tell that Ryu was holding his knuckles up and wanting something for his "Ow-ee".

_SUPERSTAR SINGER TAKEN TO EXCLUSIVE HOSPITAL ON 72-HOUR SUICIDE WATCH ACCOMPANIED BY ROCK LEGEND HERO INJURED IN RESCUE_

"Mmmm," K hummed into Sakano's neck and turning off the TV, "guess we have a little more time alone after all." They fell back onto the couch together amidst the music of helicopters, 2-way radios and police scanners, making up for lost time.

xx


End file.
